I decided that to successfully (and transparently) work on #20, I need to have a starting point to measure my success against. What could possibly be a better way to start the week than stepping on the scales? So on Monday morning, up on the scales I went. And, after seeing the #'s displayed in all of their flashing digital glory, I concluded that Mondays weren't the best day to start a weigh loss journey. Many a weight loss failure story began with a Monday, SO I should change things up again and pick another day. I made attempts on Tuesday, on Wednesday, and on Thursday. I took Friday off (it seemed like a good thing to do) and tried weighing myself again today. And you guessed it nothing changed, the same #'s flashing in my face. I seriously need a new scale--something kinder, without harsh digital light, and absolutely NO flashing.
Today, on February 27, 2010 I weigh exactly 188.2 lbs. God I hate writing those numbers down. And, I am sure you can imagine that taking the picture wasn't much fun either. It seemed more manageable to avoided the scale and keep my secret. But, that wasn't really working for me. I have a million questions and excuses of how I got to this point. And, as of today I am letting go of both. No more excuses, 15lbs here I come!
To help me put things in perspective, I did a bit of research about 15 lbs and learned that:
- Snow weighs 15 lbs per cubic foot.
- Meryl Streep had to put on 15 lbs to play Julia Child in the movie Julie & Julia.
- The Beer Barrel Belly Buster burger, served at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, PA weighs in at 15 lbs.
- The largest facial tumor in the world was recorded at 15lbs. THAT is just plain gross.
To help me lose my 15 lbs I am creating the perfect exercise/yoga sanctuary (#12). I am SO excited about this space. It's not in the corner of a room or something you have to move furniture around to be able to use. It is a real, bona fide, dedicated workout room and construction should be completed in the next few weeks. I have been dreaming about this space for years. A space that is all mine.
My weight has been an issue the past 15 years. A roller coaster of ups and downs reflecting the significant milestones and tragedies of my life. A mirror into the deepest parts of myself and my fears of openness. So, how can I start conquering those fears...
Blogging about my weight for 1.67 billion internet users (Wikipedia, June 2009) to access might be a good start?
Welcome to 40 (almost). The weight thing seems to be much more challenging at this age. Weight gain seems more linked to bio cycles (bloating, water retention, all that fun stuff) and it doesn't come off as easily. Let's just say I finally donated all of my skinny clothes.
ReplyDeleteI have a relationship with my bathroom scale, too. It's a hate/hate relationship for sure. But it is a good thing for me to do so that I am at least aware of where I am in the range of poundage.
Some things I've found that work as far as health, if not weight management, are: plenty of fiber. This one seems to be really important for me. I can eat as much fruit and veg as I want and make an effort to have five a day (though I almost never do). I almost never eat dessert. And most importantly Vodka far more often than wine or beer. And, by the end of every day I know exactly what I have or have not put in my mouth. I never passively eat. Now, exercise is a tough one for me because, well, I hate it. Best thing is running for me (it's easy) and I hate hate hate it. Shooey will not run with me. Pollution really bugs me when I run outside, so I try to get on the treadmill for 30 5x a week. I almost never manage that due to LIFE happening and no routine.
Another thing that works for me is: BIG PANTS. Suspenders or overalls are my next strategy.
I'm trying to focus on strength and health, not weight. Not easy. Yoga is a GREAT plan. I understand it is wonderful for the body. I've tried it a couple times and I like it, and am terrible at it. Let me know how it goes.
loved your post...I know you represent millions of women out there, so thank you for your honesty, which takes a huge amount of courage. I so honor you. Know that you are beautiful inside and out at any weight. I'm so so so excited though, that this has been a catalyst for you to create your sanctuary space. xxo
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